Already Doing It

Tomorrow I leave for Costa Rica. Today I raised $480 towards my journalism certification. Last Friday, I accepted a remote position working for a non-profit in Los Angeles.

All of my dreams are coming true.

When I first started this blog I wrote about becoming the person I’ve always admired from afar. I wrote about taking steps towards being the person I want to be, making choices that person would make, saying yes to things that she would say yes to. But sometimes, it gets really, really hard.

In January when I quit my job I had no idea what I was doing or why but I decided to follow what felt right. Last month I realized I was completely lost. Last week I had a total meltdown. You see, I had applied for a position at GoFundMe. I was excited for the opportunity to move back to San Diego and to work for a company that I believed in. The job aligned perfectly with my experience. I was more than qualified and I worked tirelessly on my resume and cover letter. I was a relevant, experienced, and passionate candidate. It would have been the perfect next step to move my career path upward, I would gain new and valuable skills, the pay was excellent and the office is dog-friendly. But throughout the entire process, I didn’t feel connected to the opportunity. I wasn’t nervous or excited. I was indifferent. Logically, the job was perfect. Sure I wanted it, but I didn’t need it. I didn’t feel it in my bones that this was the direction for me. But why? It’s security, it’s promotion, it’s a 401K and health insurance for gosh sakes! But no. It just wasn’t there. It didn’t mean something to me. That is when I realized something, I was chasing the wrong dream. I was looking in the wrong direction.

When I realized that the desk life was not for me I had no idea what would happen, and this entire time it has felt like maybe I had made a mistake. But when I really took a second to look at what I have accomplished thus far, I could no longer imagine taking that step backward. This year I have answered the call to so many of my life’s passions. I have made the decisions the girl I want to be would make, and now I make them with little to no fear. I say yes to the trips, I say yes to the adventures, I say yes to the unknown. This year I have traveled to 7 new destinations with 3 more to go before the end of the year. I started my blog, I’ve drafted business ideas, I freelance, and I paint. Why would I take a step back and accept a job at a desk? That is exactly what I was running away from in the first place.

Well, luckily the universe is on my side. After sending in my pristine resume before I even got the opportunity to talk to a human at GoFundMe they gave the position to someone else. And I was bummed, but something inside of me was also relieved. At that exact moment, I realized that path is not what I have been seeking. So I went on Instagram for a mood booster and what did I see? A post by someone I admire deeply talking about the Elephant Journal Academy. “Write About Something That Matters, Change The World.”

Um Okay…Sounds perfect.

The girl that I want to be would apply for this course, so I started a fundraiser.

Then I remembered that when hope is lost and you’re not sure what to do next, you should do something nice for someone else. So I went on Volunteer Match to find an opportunity to volunteer and instead I found a paid position with the PS I Love You Foundation. This job will allow me to work on my own schedule from anywhere in the world.

Definitely another win.

I’m not sure why my path opened up the way it did. Maybe it’s because I started focusing on my own journey and committing myself to what I want out of life, even though it is out of the “ordinary,” and unfamiliar. Maybe I’m just really lucky. Maybe it’s both.

This month, I took another step towards becoming the person I want to be. I will keep taking steps in that direction and sometimes I’ll look back and sometimes I’ll get lost. Although, I’m confident now that I’ll always find my way back.

My boyfriend reminded me of something when I passionately listed out to him everything I want to do in my life. He said,

“You’re already doing it.”

Tomorrow I’ll visit a new country and I can’t wait to tell you all about it.

 


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